Monday, February 21, 2011

02 / 22 / 2011

Recently I've been having trouble waking up in the morning. Every morning, when i wake up, i will myself to stand up, but deep down i ask myself "Why should I?" and the problem is, i can't even find a reason to do it.

Yes, I've clouded myself with smoke and alcohol because i'm too scared to face life's challenges. Everytime i invest my time and effort into something i really want, i always seem to fail, which has led me to question my faith once again. Yes, i know it isn't God's fault. I've told myself a thousand times. Then who's to blame? No one but me. But I'm tired of it. I'm always blaming myself, thinking I'm a fool.. a coward.. an idiot. Now that explains my low self-esteem.

It's about time i stopped this. To my dear friend, yes, you know who you are. Thank you for talking some sense into my rock-hard head. I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to give you and early birthday present. :) yes, later today, it'll be my fourth, and LAST. :)

I hope and pray, that this too is just a passing phase. Lord, help me. Hear my prayers.

P.S. happy birthday to my besfriend since level 3 mikel steven l. saromines! :D

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